Saturday, August 23, 2014

Things in life you can blame on President Obama

A day doesn't go by without someone mentioning the name Obama. His name is more famous than any movie star that was ever created. Some people have forgotten the previous presidents because all they know is the name Obama. Today people attach his name to whatever goes wrong in the country, world, and even the galaxy. I can't even get to the letter "O" in the alaphabet without being mad over all the crap he has done to me.So here are some things you can probably blame him for and when his term is over you can go back to your orginal life.



  • “O” caused global warming
  • “O” is responsible for the wars 
  • “O” didn't stop the protestors in Ferguson 
  • “O” didn't give me a job 
  • “O” made me lose my house 
  • “O” made me lose my health insurance 
  • “O” made my wife leave me 
  • “O” made my car run out of gas 
  • “O” made me lose my cell phone 
  • “O” made my kids hate me 
  • “O” made me lose my land 
  • “O” didn't help the black people 
  • “O” didn't stop the tornado 
  • “O” didn't put the wild fire out 
  • “O” didn't help the Syrians
  • “O” didn't stop the bullet from killing me 
  • “O” didn't make me white like I wanted to be 
  • “O” made me fat 
  • “O” made me pick my nose 
  • “O” is responsible for my father dying of ice cream overdose 
  • “O” is responsible for the drugs everywhere 
  • O let the terrorist on the plane 
  • I can't go on vacation because of “O” 
  • “O” is the reason I don't have a husband
  • “O” is the reason I can't go to church 
  • “O” caused me not to see 
  • We can't invade earth because of "O"

 

So now you can breathe easy since we have someone to blame all of our stupid problems on. Sleep well

YouTube will start charging to see music videos with no ads: No Shit!

You Tube is the holy grail of self reinvention. Just a short four minute video can change your life and inspire you at the same time. Unfortunately greed has once again set in by the powers that be. Well that is the powers of the music industry. For some reason they assume they are not getting enough money for their work. So now they are proposing to have us buy subscription packages to view music videos with out ads. I know what you are thinking, damn I hate those ads however, I don't mind them because I don't purchase anything because of an ad. I only purchase items because the girl on You Tube says it works. There is nothing better than a testimony which is why You Tube is so popular. You save so much money by watching other crazy people but stupid items which of course you were thinking of buying until you found out the shit don't work. I love You Tube just for that simple fact that someone else gets ripped off and not me.

However I love to watch music videos, like for instance Nikki Minaj's Anaconda video which is raunchy but it has the best exercises moves I ever seen. So I feel dirty and educated at the same time by just watching. So before the video starts there are ads which are annoying because of their length but I have some ideas on how to avoid them. There is no reason to pull out your credit card and subscribe to just avoid ads because in the end they win, by subjecting your credit info to mailers and spam email just so they can turn a profit. Think about it!

Here are some ways to pass time during annoying advertisements:

  • Go Pee: Why? because everyone has to pee
  • Go get a drink out the fridge 
  • Go outside and get the mail 
  • French kiss your boyfriend or girlfriend or both of your women
  • Take a ride to the stop sign and turn back 
  • Take out the trash 
  • Comb your hair, I am sure it needs it
  • Call Grandma and cut her off when the commercial is done
  • Check your Whatsapp, you might have a message or two waiting
  • Take a sleeping pill, and just forget about videos for the night 
  • Read the news online and see how the other crazy people around the world are doing
  • Make comments on Facebook or make comments on popular You Tube channels 
No matter what, you don't have to give in because they told you so, fight back and just go find something else to do and don't submit your credit card to this kind of torture.

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

Yea its a fucked up kind of day- BBW

I am just going to get right into this because I have no reason to re introduce myself. There is something weird about being an adult right now. Today, I have to make more decisions about my damn life than my parents before me. When my mother was coming up all she had to worry about was finding a husband and making him happy. Now I have to worry about finding a decent asshole, looking good, maintaining employment, being educated, and being friendly to every Tom, Dick and Sarah. I don't know why it is that I have to make three hundred decisions before 8 am each and everyday. Yes, I got kids so that means three hundred decisions for me and six hundred for them. Its like I live in this circle that never has an opening. There is no gate, and no guy to let me off this ride. I just keep going and going and occasionally I throw my ass off somehow. I don't know who made these rules nor do I care at this point but shit is so real. Everyday I pull up my damn Facebook and there is either an ass or dick staring back at me. Of course occasionally I get the crack head and suicide videos. I just don't understand people today and why we have to be so consumed and busy by work. Why do I need to work 8 hours? Will the world stop if I get paid for 8 and work four? What is our obsession with constantly being in front of somebody face? Well anyway


Hello 
my name is Lija